Tuesday, June 10, 2014

L&J Cover, Mexican Music, And The Toilet Handle

So, I've been keeping this running list of interesting things I've discovered in Mexico. (Most while drunk, I'll admit it...) So while I plug away at the third book in the L&J trilogy, I've keep this list going. Thought I'd share. And just so you know, I'm not holding out on you with the cover for the third book. I'm still waiting on it too. Patience, Emily, patience. I'm channeling my inner GnR here.

En Mexico
  • You might get rained on at the bar while you pee.
  • You're a American bitch. (just deal with it)
  • In Morelia, Michoacan, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
  • You're gonna buy shit out of windows. (de las ventanas)
  • You can purchase Modelo en la lata—Negro Modelo in the can (my personal favorite)—at any corner store.
  • Corner stores, aka tienditas, are aplenty around herr. (But no Nelly sadly.)
  • AND you can get limes for your beer at any corner store. Bitches R fresh!
  • For the most part, you are less likely to get roofied here than in the States—unless yo ass is hanging out with some shady mo fo's. Still, guard your drink anyways, says the American bitch...
  • People might use the N word inappropriately by American standards, but 99% of the time they don't mean it offensively. If you can though, take the opportunity to regulate. 
  • People will do nice things for you and the American bitch in you will be unsure why. They're just nice. Kinda like Canadians. Just roll with it.
  • It is very important that you hold the toilet handle down ALL THE WAY the WHOLE time and make sure EVERYTHING flushes. Then you gotta make sure the handle pops back up too, especially if you come from my family where we take massive shits. (Sorry to bust you out, sis.)
  • People are physically affectionate, even if they don't know you well. Either deal with it or speak up, but know your personal space bubble is going to be infringed upon. No one means any harm... mostly.
  • You can cook a chicken for dinner that was alive at 8am. The American bitch shivers. Hotdogs, please! Lips and ass...
  • Hope you like the accordian.
  • If you like hip hop, you're shit outta luck. But if you like rap, you can check this guy out: 

Adios and enjoy-

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